Experience~ !

2010-11-25T23:31:00.005+08:00

I'm BACK!

Randomly, i bought a book last week, Tuesdays with morrie. Started reading on e time spent on transports. Its really a v motivating book. Teaching pp to accept and view things differently.

Note to self:

Enjoy my twenty and stop worrying about ageing n stuffs. Cause its goanna come anyways.

Suddenly i came to realise, i once promise myself that i will nv work for money. I will go n do things tat i prefer even if e pay is much lower. N what am i doing now ? -.-

I became sick n tired of working. Came to realise that even if u did a hundred good stuffs and accidently do an error. It didnt matter how much effort or how much stuffs u did. ITS THE ERROR TAT COUNTS. HOW IRRITATING.

2010-11-21T01:24:00.002+08:00

I'm trying v hard to force this positive thinking into my brain.

How awful feeling it is when someone so close to u, became a stranger in a few months time? My dear program. I doubt they r going to read this post anyways. I really understand the busy time but. . . Its just super no contact, no updates or anything. It's just pretty sad.

2010-10-31T23:31:00.005+08:00

Ever since my 20th birthday.

I really think tat things/people/environment change alot. I guess i did as well.

I became so insecure. What is wrong with me?

I felt tat everyone forgotten me.

I came to realise. I actually felt very lonely. The feeling that i had nv encounter in my 20 years of life.

Its just pretty sad when the only place u can rant, is here.

因为现实太残酷，所以有时我们选择了做逃兵

2010-10-27T00:01:00.001+08:00

Why didnt they think of how i feel? =(

They are my close frens too =(

Y didnt he realise, he is treating me so differently this few days? =(

2010-10-25T00:54:00.002+08:00

Cant believe i'm back into this space to rant.

Feeling superly vexed now.

I keep telling myself to give it time. Work is just a part of life. Just anyhow choose. Just do, its just takes time then i will grow used to it. But unfortunately i'm not. I'm being very emotionally upset by it. To a point that i just broke down at work tat day. This is first time i felt so hard to blend in wiht people specially the people there. I'm been trying so hard. I even got nitemares of it.
I keep thinking, i cant leave yet. Its not even 6 mths, my resumes will be ruin by the job. Sherhua was right. I'm the thing tat matters in this whole situation. Perhaps i'm just not suitable for the job. This is just not right for me. I over-estimated myself. Thinkin i can cope with the large amt of stress tag to it. I was terribly wrong. I didnt got used to it.
Halfway through, I keep telling myself. I;m going to SIT soon. It wont matter if i am doing well or not at citibank. But the terrible truth came not long ago. They rejected my application so i got to at least work till next aug. 10 mths! How can i stand staying another 10 months there.

Program side. Hua seems to knock alot of sense into my duno-y-guiltyness.. Ok i got her point.

WORKING IN 5 hrs time. -.- HAIZ

2010-09-21T22:28:00.002+08:00

My heart went imbalance td.

The unfair treatment.

Its so upsetting that the things u did are not being recognised.

2010-09-13T01:10:00.002+08:00

I hate the feeling of growing up.

The big decision now : Uni or work?

Had a super crazy friday nite at Phuture!

I decided its time to stop for some time & think straight.

Had a terrible hangover on sat.

But the happiest thing of the wk:

A super nice cabbie sent my lost phone back to me. N he drove all the way to my downstairs! DA HAO REN =) THANKS A MILLION UNCLE!

Work tmr!

2010-08-29T04:17:00.002+08:00

HOLIDAY HOLIDAY HOLIDAY~

LAST WK OF SEPT. WHO'S FREE?

2010-08-29T03:57:00.005+08:00

Work is relatively smooth-er these few wks tat i was lost..

However, the sudden change of the person sitting next counter nearly drive me nuts. She is just. ARGH. Irritating all the GF pp.

28 AUGUST 2010

Went out to celebrate Yessy's bd tgt with Larlene, Hua, Cindy, Zhixin, Davin, Yongqiang. The nite was super enjoyable. Shopping at SCAPE FLEA MARKET & CINE, i spent abt 100 plus sia! The feeling is v shuang after tat hee hee.

Dinner at Pasta waraku~

Went to Cine Level 9, 7 of us squeeze inside a cosy small room to watch "spy next door" =)

Was totally in a good mood till i saw some stuffs. Something deep inside me felt v disappointed. Though i think he's not mine to start with but. . hmm ya. Ok nvm. I shall end here td.

NITES EVERYONE.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY YESSY! =))

-WAKE UP ELAINE. HE'S NOT URS N HE WILL NV BE.-

2010-08-15T23:11:00.003+08:00

I finally started to look for another option to life.

Peixin was chatting with me in the evening. Somehow perhaps i shld try for some time more. Before i really decide to quit.

Ytd outing was awesome.

Afternoon was spent with Aloy and Chunkiat. =)

Evening onwards was spent with a very special fren tat i had. Random chasing of Batman lighting produced by YOG. Trip down to clarke quay. =)

Thank you for pei-ing last nite.

A silent promise.

2010-08-02T23:16:00.003+08:00

What is the factors included in your most suitable job?

Interest

High pay

Location

Prospect

Environment

Stress level

Human factors

I guess i chose high pay and prospect.

I'm regretting.

Mayb its just like in secondary, there are just some subjects that u are not so good with. Even if u try super duper hard, its just not for u.

2010-07-28T00:35:00.004+08:00

I really dun understand why is she so sarcastic.

Piss me off.

Its only tat u are working there for more years.

Can u stop answering me lk i'm asking fei hua?

I really really dun understand.

Y are the pp in the sch much simpler than the working adults?

Arent the working adults from sch as well?

Stop saying its the environment that changes people.

I think its the people that changes themselves to seeing the world differently.

2010-07-25T22:36:00.004+08:00

I think i've been cryin way too much nowadays.

I used to not understand pp who cried even in their dreams. What could be so terrible that this will happen. Now tat i experience it.

Too much negative things lingering in my mind. It's totally mantiputing my brain totally.

Raffles is a way too lonely place.

Tryin to convince myself, its just not used to it.

Work is taxing, very restricted.

Jie fu say since i'm so still so young. If really not suitable, y not change into another job?

Perhaps stubborn perhaps didnt wan to believe there's things tat i cant do. I just wan to continue to try

Tmr is monday. OH SIAN~!

Smooth day please.

I'm hoping to post something happy the next time.

Sidenote, I miss sch.

BADLY!

2010-07-18T23:52:00.003+08:00

L : Mayb u get super abnormally tired after work because mayb u r not suitable for the work?

Mayb she is right. I shld think abt it.

Meanwhile. My heart is feeling utterly terrible.

E.M.O

2010-07-18T15:14:00.004+08:00

My brain had been in a great fight nowadays. Had been really stress, really tired etc.

I started doing counter and its becomin a main reason of my high stress level nowadays.

Work had making me grow up unwilling.

Been visiting J frequently.

Her incident makes me reflect alot, think alot and it came down as a conclusion of. Do wat u think u should and want to. Dont regret. What if one day i became lk her? Lying there, unable to freely express wat u wan to say.

Tmr will be a tough day, Peixin, Eunice and julia are on leave. I'm going to be alone. HAIZ.

HOPEFULLY TMR WILL BE A SMOOTH DAY, DO NO WRONG STUFFS TMR!!~

Had been rather unhappy throughout the wk.

I guess. I need something to enhance my life.

The feeling of being left alone in Raffles isnt great =(

2010-07-05T00:52:00.000+08:00

E.M.O

2010-07-04T22:56:00.003+08:00

Td is a emo day.

Had a stupid harry potter dream, leaving me unhappy n sian for the whole day =(

TMR IS WORK AGAIN~!

CONFUSED

2010-06-26T23:57:00.003+08:00

R u just a friend or someone to hold forever?

R u a stepping stone or destination?

Too much complications.

It seems lk. It happen at the wrong time.

But I'm really thinking abt the possiblity btw us.

Hopefully u r too.

WORK WORK WORK

2010-06-24T23:39:00.005+08:00

Work is super taxing.

I understand, its because its the starting.

Things will be much more difficult.

People ard keep saying i'm thinkin too much when i said i'm learning too slowly. I'm just an 1 wk old teller.

I hate tat expression of others, thinkin how come i duno this duno tat?. Irritating.

I just wan to learn things fast.

Lucky there are some nice people like Peixin, Julia, May etc etc. If not life will be boring.

OMG TIRED TTM~!

Next week roster is out. I will be helping out at bulk cash for whole 5 days. OMG.

I'm missing school frens. ALOT.

LIFE IS TIRING.

2010-06-19T14:31:00.002+08:00

ANOTHER WORLD - WORK

2010-06-19T13:46:00.005+08:00

WORK IS OMG~!!

So much to absorb.

So much to handle.

Just running alot of errands.

Everyone's been too busy to teach me.

Things had been interesting. Just tat i'm not taught things.

Wrong instructions was pass to me ytd. I hai 2 staff to OT. Haiz. So sorry.

Hoping next week will be better. Hopefully.

ICANDOIT. HOPEFULLY.

Aim of week!

I was so lonely on 1st n 2nd day of work. Its been long since i last feel tat way. Lucky there had been sms-es by friends if not i think i will die there.

It had been a super gossip industy. Not used to it.

No more esc. No more Tp. No more close frens with me. Everything RESTARTS.

JUMPING FOR JOY! =)

2010-06-11T14:57:00.003+08:00

CITIBANK CALLED =)

Elaine's Status: EMPLOYED! =)

A brand new life is AHEAD! =)

2010-06-10T17:33:00.004+08:00

AHHH~!

CITIBANK!! Can u call me PRETTY PLEASE?

AIYO~! I'm hanging there sia! =(

No other!

2010-06-06T22:45:00.001+08:00

AHH! I have a impt interview tmr! HOPEFULLY I CAN ANSWER EVERYTHING N NO BLANK MIND PLEASE!

I should maintain a positive feeling till tmr! I CAN I CAN I CAN! =)

hehes!

2010-06-05T19:19:00.003+08:00

Its a great feeling that someone just say they miss you or they thought of u! =))

Agency =)

2010-06-03T23:54:00.003+08:00

I went to Humanics agency td.

Honestly they were good. They taught me things tat are needed for interview~ Every single things. All in all, they taught me how to think n say things correctly. =) They taught me to believe in myself.

Worth the efforts to go all the way down =)

Back to the point.

Work for 6 mths, go back to study OR work perm and study part time?

AHHH

DIFFICULT CHOICE~!

K-ing with program tmr! EGGCITED! =)

“No one else “makes us angry. We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose, not they. They merely put our attitude to a test.”
Jim Rohn (via kari-shma) (via daisychainz)

LJS, Geo

2010-06-03T23:40:00.003+08:00

I went out with a certain someone

N the request to blog is

YTD NITE WAS SO BORING! CANNOT TAKE IT!

HAHAS!!

Gathering at Zhiyong's House

2010-05-29T15:28:00.002+08:00

Had a wonderful gathering at ZhiYong's house =)

With Larlene, Yessy, Chunkiat, Cindy, Hua, Hanchong, Davin and Zhixin! =)

Its been some time since we last cook tgt =)

The dinner was supre!

After dinner, the guys went to majiong while the girls began painting their nails. Its a super good feeling i felt.

After tat was chit chatting about the recent happenings n all.

Its just a very comfortable day! =)

ESC AY09/10

2010-05-27T16:05:00.000+08:00

I wanted to do a damn crazy thing. I want to blog about all the events that had happened in this year. Wanted to do a full record and move on from ESC to working life.

I didnt realise at tat point of time. From the minute i hand in the purple form, i didnt realise i'm also handing over my time, commitment, responsibilty, my everything over to ESC.

But honestly I didnt regret. Really. This whole year of experience is unable to use anything to replace, its really not books or newspapers able to teach. Sometimes there are people who ask. what ve u learnt in ESC? Model answer are leadership/ coordination/ teamwork etc. But deep down in our hearts, we know. Its not just all these. It just turn n evolve u into a better person, its not possible to write down one by one what we ve learnt.

AY09/10. Easily the best year of my life.

ESC. The second family. There is this time when we just sat n chit chat, toast bread and make it SMELLS homely. We tried our very best to bond with each other in the starting. 5 sch days c each other. N even meetups during wkends. I remember once Hua suddenly cried and say " ESC is become our first family. We see each other so much more than we see our real family members." From our over-bonded family to now. Its just super sad. Something had cause a super big change among ourselves.

We no longer go into ESC as often.

We no longer had a more than 8 people hangout.

We no longer meet up during weekends.

We no longer drink milo/eat biscuits tgt in ESC.

We no longer place each other in tat prestige place in our hearts.

But really. All of u are still very dear to me. In less than a year of being main coms tgt. I really place u guys as family. Its no frens that can change tat position of u guys in my heart. There's times tat we all broke down and cried tgt. But usually after this, we swore to be even stronger, even better. I believe, no one ever saw this. All they saw was us becoming better and better. But behind all those are hardwork that no one can imagine beside going through themselves.

I just ve to tell u guys. The past one year had been a wonderful experience. I had always been v grateful and proud that i am working with u guys and of course at the end of our AY. We hug back the regetta champ. Our whole AY of hardwork seems to pay off almost immediately when tt moment came.

As i flashback on our events, the first thing tat came to my mind is those delighting moments. Those arguments, those unhappiness, those pek chek seems to be hiding way behind these sense of accomplishment, something that had made us move on till now.

I LOVE YOU.

JEL IRVIN ELAINE JIAYING SHERHUA JAZZLYN ZHIYONG YONGQIANG GRACE SHEIKH YESSY LARLENE JESSLYN CINDY HASZLIN

AY09/10! =)

UPDATES ! =)

2010-05-23T16:13:00.007+08:00

19TH MAY - MY GRADUATION=)

3 long years had past since i first step foot into TP.

-Graduates of ELN-

Woke up at 7+ that day, pretty excited about the ceremony. Called cindy till phone nearly burst and finally she woke up but still late for the ceremony. I was quite upset, thinkin that mayb she might just sit like 6 seats away from me. Taking the cert tgt. But nvm la. She still get to go in and take her cert but cant sit in for the whole ceremony. The "ahem" suppose to sit beside me also late. HAHAS. damn lots of pp late la. I was sitting next to Artz so its not very bored then wenhui, diane join in to gossip. HAHAS!

Lucky Chunkiat went, kind heartedly sit beside my mama and take care of her =) As well as take alot of photos for us! THANKS A MILLION =)

Shihan, Yishan, Caleb came as well. To take photo, deliver flowers =) Its super pretty thanks alot! Mr. Ken appeared to be waiting for me and cindy to take photos tgt. We took a super nice photo =) Like it alot. Then we became lk models when the fb photographers, engineerus photographers came. Took photos with alot of pp till mum say she shld go home first.

ANDY damn cute la. He came with 2 bouquets of Lili with graduation bear for me and cindy =)) N he brought them all the way from JURONG! HAHHAS THANKS THANKS THANKS =)) N he accompany me the whole day =)

Dinner @ BBQ Chicken with Andy, Chunkiat, Larlene, Aloy & Zhixiong. =)

- Wenhui-

Thanks for tahan-ing me always go do esc stuffs!

-LianKwang Wenhui Dionne Jonathan-

-Cindy Hua- =)

-Cindy Mr Teo Hua -

- Cindy Hanchong Mr Ken-

I really like this photo =) Damn nice =)))

The rest of the photos are on e way!

Though months ago, i knew that Zhiyong, larlene, yessy, jesslyn, zhixin co cant come for my graduation. But secretly i was hoping to c them when i came out of TCC, hoping they will be standing around waitin for us to take photos. Unfortunately my wish didnt come true. But Larlene came back tat nite so yup.

Its Still a HAPPY GRADUATION =)

Going to update about 18th May graduation as well as the ESC outing =) BRB!

Election Time!

2010-05-15T11:48:00.003+08:00

Jel's face pop out from my bottom right corner of my screen and i was back in sch in the morning ytd. (Late but of course =( )

Help to hang posters for 12 hrs.
Throughout these 12 hrs, no doubt saw alot of people clearer. 一種米yang bai 種ren. SERIOUSLY cannot believe it.

SME AGM @ 6pm!

Met up with YESSY ZHIYONG LARLENE GRACE N ALOT ALOT OF PP= )))

DIN-SUPPER with larlene n chunkiat till 2am? HAHAS talk about damn lots of things =))

No matter how worried we are.

There's really a least tat we can do about it anymore.

I'm not waiting anymore.

2010-05-05T23:32:00.006+08:00

Ever since ESC kinda step out of my life.

My life totally changed.

From eventful everyday to aimless, boring, routine.

No JOB

No MONEY

No AIM

Feels Worthless

Nothing much to do everyday!

Even school sounds a bit distance nowadays!

AHHHHH!

SUPER NOT USED TO IT!

Week 0 Orientation ! =)

2010-05-03T02:00:00.006+08:00

WEEK ZERO AY10/11

ALL Our Hopes/Dreams/Hardwork for the whole year.

What we have been working for the whole AY.

--THE OVERALL CHAMPION--

Though we didnt get it. But we gain back REGETTA CHAMPION! =) Something to be happy about. I cant tell u how much we cherish this. Though we miss the overall champion by just a bit bit. But that day the overall spirit for ENGINE, i ve nv seen it since the year i came in. I was REALLY REALLY TOUCHED. It really makes all our efforts worth it esp for Mentors n LL =) Can you imagine BUS people came over to say " Can u all don be so scary the next year?" I didnt understand y did BUS win but YA they won AGAIN -.-

The countless heads' meetings. The countless dept meetings. The countless hardwork. The countless breakdowns. The countless amount of courage given. The countless HTHT sessions that we all had before we could all set our common goals and mission that we wanted to accomplish. Many breakthroughs that we did this Wk 0.

Day 1 & 2 totally make me damn upset. Ok i'm not going into details. I was just wondering y is my last orientation ending in this way. Life had been pretty difficult. I felt Over-work = (

But the encouraging part is. OUR SUBCOMS ARE DAMN ZAI.

BIGGEST PROJECT OF THE YEAR!
700 pp shifting around sch! OH gosh. No joke. Super scary.

Cause i had to set up 100s No NG with only Yq and Grace on the 2nd day. OMG they move super fast to the field. Super touched =)

When Day 2 games ended, i felt SUPER relieved.

Trash talk with the heads at nite. Felt its really good to talk things out mainly about how we felt about each other. Share with them wat we wanted to bring program to. How i really really felt.

Day 3 was spent training the Olympiad people.

HONG XING DA JIANG IS DAMN FUN!

Suppose to be at 9pm but was postponed once due to EFTW. But due to me. Glenn suggested to postpone to 11pm. N i'm super touched when everyone immediately say ok. Its lk they know tat they will be sleeping much later n all.

Glenn and Yunzhong's Group was dancing super funny moves and that was the first time Raymond came out with this Ah-La-Ka-Dee-Kee thingy. HAHHAS damn cool! damn fun!

Zhixin & Cindy's Group was doing a script about the Programmers common behaviour. HAHAS it was super funny with the help of luqman but of course =) Zhixin must be super tired, jumping here n there.

Aneza, Ting Huan 's grp was dancing and a part of it was we will never forget u and we will miss u. OMG TOTALLY make us cry. Cindy's reaction didnt lag at that point of time. Her tears just drop!

Sorry ah. Heads performance was damn lousy. We were so busy that we got no time to practice =( I didnt ve voice by then to sing song. Our script was super -.- HAHHAS.

Everyone sing tgt for the song "Graduation".

Xin Ku la Weilun, Glenn & Sining for the Program Video. I heard u all slept at 7am =(

THANKS ALL PROGRAMMERS AND UR BOOK =)) THANKS JAN UR SPECIAL CARD =)

*Cried before hong xing da jiang, i couldnt take it halfway through main com debrief. But i hold on till debrief ended. The mood was damn tense, seriously it kinda of scares me and as well as many things running on my mind.

Day 4 started with Olympiad!

Meanwhile when Olympiad was going on. I was preparing for Dragonboat. It's quite nervous specially when we saw that Freshmen Men and Female won. I knew that our boat is the the determine factor to whether we will win regetta or not. Requested for Hanchong to come n Moti Talk- his "you are not alone and remember that engine is just beside u" and Junyang told something that i guess hit us quite hard. " Do wat you are suppose to do girls! ". When the race started, we did 10 hard paddle and alot of us obviously were tired. Ok i went crazy, I shouted damn loudly and accordin to hua and super fierce. When we saw tat we were on par with Design, i felt our desire to win had hit the highest point. n

SENIOR GIRLS WON 2nd FOR DRAGONBOAT! TOTALLY PROUD ABOUT IT ! =)

I went up totally in happiness =) Till Zhixin & Cindy cried damn badly n came to hug me. N WE CRIED TGT! Almost all the senior girls cried at that moment. It really a moment of satisfaction and glory =)

I cried at the part when the whole program did the Ah-la-ka-dee-kee.

I thought that i will cry badly on the last day but i didnt. Perhaps too tired. Perhaps more than happy that we won REGATTA CHAMP!

Went back to ENG sch at level 1. That was the first time i saw Mr. Ken lk almost going to drop his tear. Had a massive crying/hugging session there.

Went back to program room to have debrief and MISS MAIN SUB DEBRIEF AGAIN! Program was totally having scandal-ous moments. Cindy n me went to LT26 to find esc. Thought was a short one but didnt realise its a long one n our program went off n we didnt bid goodbye =(

ESC year 1 n 2 were damn sweet. =) The book that was given=) THANKS ALOT.

Went home n saw Mathew's video. Its damn touching please. Some of the words and the photos. OMG totally touched my heart.

-Ytd brought the beginning, tmr brings the end and somewhere in the middle, we became the best of friends.

-Somethings are meant to be said, but somethings are just meant to be kept deep inside and we will appreciate it.

From last year to this year. The change from a Subcom ic to a head head. Things that I taught. Things that I learn. I felt tat I didn’t do enough. A lot of times. I really give up but was glad that i didnt. . =)

All the friends i made in TP. I will nv nv forget, definitely!

An unforgettable 3 years experience! =)

ESC, PROGRAMMERS, MAIN COMS, FRIENDS =)

Now that our journey has ended, we are passing on our dreams, hopes, culture to the next batch that are going to take over. JIAYO!

Hope that ENG will win the next year's OVERALL CHAMP! =)

IP MAN 2 + HT session

2010-04-29T02:57:00.003+08:00

Before the long post about the Wk 0/ESC/ AY09/10, i decided to blog about wat i did td! =)

Went out with Hanchong and caught Ip Man 2 which is really super nice!

Ate Popeyes which i ve some craving for quite some time.

Just walk ard the malls.

HT for ultra long hrs and haven complete.

Its a fun day and Thanks for the HT-ing.

I'm sure u will fix and sort everything out soon =) Hopefully me too.

Take care in the meanwhile and c u soon!

1 and 1/2 year of friendship and still going on strong =)

FOC/FOW

2010-04-23T01:42:00.007+08:00

Decided to blog about all these before my mind totally digest them away.

FOW

I was assigned to Ketas together with Tingfong, Sharon, Mathew Lwee, HuiQi, Matthew Teow, Morgan etc.

I felt totally in a awkward situation.

1st time in GL.

1st time in TPSU event.

1st time shouting from day to nite.

Year 3 yet the first time joining FO. SO SHY!

The 1st & 2nd day were damn disappointing & dismoralising. No matter how much we went to chat with the freshies, we try to let them open up, they were just super quiet.

Went for Orientation heads meeting, realise still got alot of things not done. Wanted to give up and not go back to FO. Hanchong said " Elaine, u are a GL now. There's alot of freshies to care about. " Realise tat he is right. I should go back and handle my responsibilties. I'm glad i went back though.

DAY3! OMGOMG THEY WERE DAMN CHIONG AND HIGH =)

We went through huntger and carnival games. Things went super well. Unfortunately, we got 5th. Almost all GLs cried. We felt our efforts went into drain and that our freshies dont deserve tat. Our freshies actually came to comfort us. DAMN TOUCHING PLEASE!

Had our usual LONG debrief and our freshies waited for us =) DAMN LOVE! Though last but I LOVE U ALL =)

FOC

Still very overwhelm with tired-ness. The freshies tat came were much higher than the FOW people. But i duno y, i felt we are not as close to them.

There were times that the Year 3s had to take over when the Year 1s n 2s went for briefing/scoldings. I'm totally lost, its those duno u should sit or stand, talk or not that kind. Pretty stressful.

Perform Run Devil Run during performance nite. It was damn over-run la. HAHAAS~

No doubt it had been a really great experience, it really helps to understand wat the other schools outside ENG had been doing. =)

2010-04-19T01:15:00.001+08:00

DONE WITH FOW/FOC, WK 0 ORIENTATION.

Finally a goodbye to TP with much unsure, with much se bu de.

So much things going on in my mind. I need some time.

I will be back with a super duper long post =)

MTC 2010

2010-04-04T00:18:00.010+08:00

1 Camp

+ 4 Games 1 bu neng shuo de mimi

+ 5 Empires

+ 27 Main coms

+ 29 Programmers

+ 100 Mentors

+ Super lots of subcoms

= MTC 2010! =)

Refresher [28th March 2010]

Met up with subcoms at 8+ for dinner. However due to some reasons, i had dinner with the comms instead. HAD PRATA! LK FINALLY =) Went back to pack LOG items, my head totally turn green when i saw the 1 page long of items missing. Lucky everything turn out ok =) Went to rooftop with Hanchong & Cindy, was a nice gathering despite it being very short. Rooftop is really damn nice. =)

HRS SLEPT: 1 hr est.

DAY 1 [29th March 2010]

Our game 1 delayed and started at 830pm. Everyone got so stressed out on tat day, i felt damn bad, honestly. As a more experienced head, i suddenly felt i haven done enough especially when i heard/ saw tat we forgot to book sports hall, wet weather, Joanna, Zhixin & Glenn's ultra tired/ stressed expression and cecilla station got bullied. I cant help but start to reflect on myself. Perhaps tat day i didnt show out much. But something in me felt so angry. I didnt wan to confide in anyone tat day cause i knew it will definitely affect the mood. During debrief, my whole heart keep sinking when station 2 explain wat actually happen at the station. Cecilla totally gave me a expression that she didnt understand y is she treated this way. Honestly, i don understand too. I dun understand how can they humilate somone who work so hard for 2 mths to make sure that they are able to enjoy the camp? How can they do something to make the others feel so bad? How come i wasnt there when it happen? Zillions of question marks came to my mind. Seeing Cecilla tear, Guoxin teared as well. Mayb he felt tat being a fellow programmer at that station and unable to protect cecilla well, i felt worst. I wasnt even there.

Luckily everyone brace up, refreshed themselves before the Game 2 briefing. Mac delivery came while the heads & 2 ics kelian-ing sit outside the room and eat cup noodles/mac while discussing about manpower allocation.

HRS SLEPT: 30 mins est.

DAY 2 [ 30th March 2010]
ITS TOTALLY INSANE !

2 games, 1 nite walk in a day!

Woke up with my hair still wet. IMAGINE! Started to prepare Game 2's log items and all. Other than the bdk resorvoir stations are really super far away. Everything went smoothly thankfully.=) Boon & Clement were praised for good briefing =) The craze of game 2 to game 3 is totally AHHH! One hr is all we ve to brief programmers/ set up. So Joanna & i went to clear up the canvas with the help of Hanchong =) Pretty quick i thought then headed back to Ops room for lunch. Then something mysterious happened. The identical voice happen over walkie. OK shall not talk abt it.

While Game 3 was happening, i was busy discussing nite walk with the group. Change super lots of things. All we had for nite walk set up was 2 HOURS! DAMN OMG. Shi han & Cindy lk going to cry even before we start setting up. Shihan had this expression that i had nv seen before. Overly stressed i guessed. HAIZ then i started to regret the decision to change stuffs. =( Lots of cock ups but still its ok i thought =) My energy totally went flat. I just fall asleep when i was sitting outside the nite walk corridor. -.-

Everything ard 4am. Luckily LOG, ADMIN & YQ came to help. A BIG THANKS!

Quickly went back for debiefing before chiong to OPS room to had my 2nd meal of the day with Zhixin and Cindy. Damn pathetic feel. hahahas!

HRS SLEPT: 1. 45 hr est.

DAY 3 [ 31st March 2010 ]

Overslept till 9am HAHAS OOPS. According to them, they TRIED to wake me up countless of times. HE HE!

Jump at at 9am then started to walk around and realise our subcoms got nth for us to worry anymore. =) So 5 heads went to take photo for video and chit chat a while. =)

Its a utterly disappointing and sad new when we had to cancel our final clash part 2. Joanna cried and i think xl almost did too. " Its not supposed to end this way" i thought.

Filled with disappointment, i felt i shldnt let the rest c it. Therefore i suggested to get ice-creams for everyone. Apparently after a long long chat, everyone felt so much better and of course bonded.

THIS CAMP. THOUGH TIRED, THOUGH STRESSFUL, CAME WITH MANY SWEET RETURNS =) THANKS PROGRAMMERS, LOVE U ALL =)

Everyone is growing up and i'm leaving =( 2 more weeks for elaine to be at TP before its time to say BYE BYE and move on to another chapter of my life. Though so much of me didnt wan this to end. But ya its ending n i'm facing it.

MTC TMR~

2010-03-27T23:42:00.004+08:00

2 months of hardwork n everything will be showcase on mon, tues, wed.

Went to c weather forecast n sadly it will be raining! OMG BETTER DON RAIN~

Hopefully everything will b FINE!!

Shall blog again when i come back =))

I AM PRO - GRAM =) Had been damn proud of this word since it came into my life =)

Its a new . . . .

2010-03-17T01:06:00.003+08:00

Just got home from 85.

A delighting dinner with Zhiyong, Larlene, Yessy, Jesslyn, Cindy, Yongqiang, Grace and Bevin. =)

Unfortunately the rest arent able to come down.

Lots of thoughts about people about future. Ended up damn tired n all.

Back from ESC chalet!

2010-03-12T23:23:00.002+08:00

Finally

2010-03-06T01:19:00.004+08:00

Finally found my motivations for WK 0.

MY SUBCOMS WERE DAMN NICE & FUNNY TD=)

I enjoyed the few hrs with them very much td =)

Hopefully things are on tracks . . =)

Shared with someone abt i found myself happy over doing program stuffs again =) Utterly SURPRISE =)

I enjoy having zero status. having someone to care abt vice-versusly yet still have e freedom to go and do anything you enjoy and like .

2010-03-04T01:20:00.001+08:00

Just`

2010-03-03T03:53:00.005+08:00

Some times i really really wish i could be more capable, more discipline.

I tried to understand. The people i'm working with.

The efforts are just not seen.

There's always so many stuffs undone.

I"M SO WORRIED!!

COUNTDOWN: 26 days to MTC.

I hate to admit

2010-03-01T00:14:00.005+08:00

This is the 1st time i came so close to understanding my heart.

Specially during Fri's clubbing, i was in a total mess. Y did i do tat? I just cant explain.

My heart is feeling so uncomfortable now.

ARGH.

I knew how unimportant i am to him all along.

But when u saw it with ur eyes, its really really different.

Just when i thought i can take it.

Truth hurts.

I love you but i'm not in love with u

2010-02-25T02:59:00.004+08:00

ITS OFFICIALLY HOLIDAYS LIKE LONG TIME AGO FOR ME! hahahas!

Jiayo to the people who are still mugging !

Went back to sch this afternoon, i didnt know y but i was super excited on my way to school. Determined to take a bus and went into ESC, immediately saw Jel, Mathew, Irvin, SherHua, Larlene ! It felt super great!

FEELS LK HOME =)

Shall go for a hair cut tmr! =)

Had been secretly sorting all my thoughts. =)

CNY & Valentine's day

2010-02-15T02:00:00.002+08:00

Td is a pretty happy day =)

=((

2010-02-11T23:28:00.002+08:00

Too many thoughts on my mind.

I realise how failure i am.

I realise how many things i'm doing.

I realise i'm not tat person i thought i am.

Many thoughts abt program, esc, project, graduations, relationships all came ytd, when i was in ESC kinda of alone. Emo songs were played on radio. The mood was totally there, i broke down. I starting crying uncontrollable. Luckily no one was ard except for sleeping ah hua. I felt totally helpless. I actually thought i got no frens, i cant think of anyone tat i wan to bother them with. I heard everyone was having fun outside and i felt so isolated. I somehow felt i'm so not in place, even if i happen to die somewhere, no one will ever knows.

Affected

2010-02-10T01:12:00.000+08:00

FUN- FILLED =)

2010-02-09T01:31:00.003+08:00

I must have eaten lots of these td =)

DAMN HAPPY =)

ESC is love!=)

Those days

2010-02-07T01:39:00.010+08:00

My tears dropped when i was at home viewing these photos.

A series of things happen on fri.

I'm sure everyone felt something.

Its been super long that i haven been crying lk tat.

I am glad tat we at least talk everything out.

I seriously seriously hope things will ve a postive turn next wk.

LETS COME BACK~ PLEASE!

Treat it that i'm begging or wat. I really hope things will restart to where we started. Our love. That special and super bonding.

This is my last wk which can be said as LAST 2 DAYS OF SCHOOL.

AND THAT'S MY END POINT FOR TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC ENGINEERING ELECTRONIC BUSINESS.

There's so much i wanted to tell u. I guess this time its vice- verus. I'm awaiting for HT session part 2 if u ever read my blog. N i'm worried for u.

2010-01-31T04:01:00.003+08:00

My heart felt so unwell td.

I cant pretend i didnt c all those things.

All those pride n pretence somehow fell apart. .

Unable to express and rant all e thoughts out.

I think i'm going to suffer from internal bleeding soon.

Forget it. I'm going to grad soon. HANG ON.

I cant. I really really tried.

F.A.M.I.L.Y

2010-01-30T02:15:00.004+08:00

I kinda felt everyone seems to be going different directions.

We always ve fun and didnt realise someone is not feeling very alright nearby.

I don't feel too good abt it, so mostly i will walk away from the fun crowd.

It happen td. So just wanted to rant abt it.

Ok. Random.

STRESS

2010-01-27T00:23:00.002+08:00

I HOPE SO TOO!

19 days to end of SCHOOL! =)

All gone

2010-01-23T01:50:00.002+08:00

I seriously reached my limits td.

I've seen enough.

I've felt enough.

I give up. I held on when the rest give up initially and ended up realising tat i was terribly stupid to do tat.

It's just not worth it.

Mayb the tears just somehow wake me up as well.

If those are the things tat u care abt and clearly we are not in tat list anymore. I'm stopping to be extra nice as well.

I didnt even think tat it will end up this way at my last last last phrase of TP.

Happiness week organiser isnt happy at all.

2010-01-20T23:08:00.002+08:00

I'm seriously feeling damn emo now.

Every thoughts kinda strangled me.

Yet, unable to cry out at all.

I felt so disturbed.

Till Then

2010-01-17T15:17:00.003+08:00

Wanted to blog about CHRISTMAS, NEW YEAR COUNTDOWN, TP open house, Subcomms interviews.

However... things had been piling, nv-ending & rocky! Therefore shall be back soon to blog abt it!

School results had been a great mess.

Its not a great start for 2010!

Anyways, BACK to doing stuffs. Its an responsibilty!

2009-12-21T22:50:00.001+08:00

Extracted from Jiaying's Blog =)

Bold what you are.

01. You’re currently confused about someone’s feelings for you.
02. You have been in a serious relationship before.
03. You own an iPod of some sort.
04. You do not like your sibling’s girlfriend/boyfriend.
05. You drink too much alcohol.
06. You have been to the Olive Garden.
07. You have taken medicine of some sort this week.
08. It is really cold in your house right now.
09. You are extremely dependent on others.
10. You do not like to express your feelings in front of others.
11. You ate a lot of food today.
12. It doesn’t take much for you to cry.
13. People consider you a sappy sort of person.
14. Someone in your family is rich.
15. You have been to Disney World or Disneyland before.
16. You hate when people constantly talk about themselves.
17. You are a good listener, but you hate complainers.
18. Someone has called you for a serious medical emergency before.
19. You have had a serious surgery.
20. Your house has a spare bedroom.
21. Your house is old.
22. You have at least one cousin under the age of three.
23. You have never held a baby before.
24. You can’t handle toddlers.
25. You have a painting in your room.
26. You have been to Canada.
27. You have been to Mexico.
28. You love cherry flavored lollipops.
29. You celebrate Easter.
30. You observe Lent.
31. You are Catholic.
32. You do not believe in God.
33. Religion is not important to you.
34. You want to have a small family one day.
35. You would rather have more sons than daughters.
36. You have more aunts than uncles.
37. You hate being too cold.
38. You currently are way more tan than everyone else.
39. You wear shoes in your house.
40. Your parents are clean freaks.
41. You are more messy than clean.
42. You are currently angry at someone.
43. Patience is so not a virtue to you.
44. Your desk is extremely clean.
45. Your bed sheets are either blue, green, black, or white.
46. When you hear “black & white” it reminds you of Katy Perry’s ‘Hot n Cold’ song.
47. You have no clue what that song is.
48. You think rap artists are completely pathetic.
49. You are glad George Bush will be [is] out of office.
50. Politics are boring to you.
51. You take a vitamin daily.
52. You feel like you are sick often.
53. You hate throwing up.
54. You think it’s gross when people set food down on their desk at school with no napkin.
55. You also find it gross that people sit on top of desks.
56. You are now cringing at the thought of someone’s food where someone’s ass was.
57. You love getting bubble baths.
58. You do not like chocolate at all.
59. You are allergic to nuts.
60. You have been stung by a bee before.
61. You have been to the emergency room before for something.
62. One of your parents is 50 or older.
63. You are the baby of your immediate family.
64. You hate broccoli.
65. Cooked carrots are good, though.
66. You go on tumblr too much.
67. You are really comfortable right now.
68. You like witty t-shirts.
69. You are a major fan of underground bands.
70. You have been on an airplane before.
71. You are not afraid of heights.
73. You have had a panic attack before.
74. The thought of being old and alone bothers you.
75. You would choose the elderly over children.
76. You feel like you’re living in the wrong decade.
77. You have smoked weed before.
78. You think it’s way too cold outside right now.
79. You love the thought of sleeping in tomorrow morning.
80. You would rather go to bed early and get up early.
81. You feel like the early bird catches the worm.
82. You are a big breakfast eater.
83. You are currently suffering from the common cold.
84. You are craving something salty.
85. You have been in a car today.
86. There is something plugged in near you.
87. You have heard of the TV show “Private Practice.”
88. You do not like medical television shows.
89. You prefer horror to comedies.
90. You adore Leo & Kate.
91. You think high-waisted pants look good.
92. You hate cheesy movies.
93. You enjoy camping out.
94. Bugs don’t bother you.
95. You do well in school without trying.
96. You are extremely jealous of someone currently.
97. You feel like you have changed a lot from 08-09.
98. You like energy drinks.
99. You like italics.
100. You know the entire script of Mean Girls.

OTC 09/10 WAS A BLAST!

2009-12-18T02:03:00.006+08:00

Warning : Post goanna be damn long.

Background knowledge: Elaine went to OTC camp as GL!

I felt like i just went for my first camp. Damn excited to get all the things that had happened noted down.

Its a amazing experience. Being a bit sian at Program, i wanted to try something new, to venture of my comfort zone n do something different for a change. Chose to go for interview n somehow got in =)

Tues *(15th Dec)

Got into Ketsu tgt with Jel, Yessy, 2 Matthews, Ken, Joseph, Raymond, Shah as well as some other familiar faces. Somehow it felt better.

But my situation seriously felt quite awkward. A year 3 however with no experience and know not much of year 3s..

Was in a total loss in the first part of the day. Like really no clue of wat i shld do, but seeing wat my mates are doing, did help.

Slowly bonded, mixed in with the people.

Got into some trouble at nite..

Wed *(16th Dec)

Kept going to meet some teachers ..

Wat Evan said, strike it. "I'm really sorry for u, ur first and last OTC".

The empire were damn supportive towards us, they even cried to hear that we are leaving. Of course, ten of us were alr in tears.

Its really just knowing each other for like 2 days? The bond was there, i felt it.

The Ketsu cheer shouted right after the tears was damn damn loud. My ear drum was ringing la~ HAHAS!!!

I felt the whole Engine bond when the incident happened, everyone was damn worried for us. They almost cried and all. We knew, we felt it, thanks. It felt really good, to know we are not alone, behind us are u guys who we came with, who wanted to make engine proud, make urself grow throughout the camp.

I was damn happy that i went for camp, though just a short 2 days stay. I knew people who would nv have intercrossed my life. Yet just this camp, i came back with ard 40 new frens.

Much were felt. THANKS ALOT! KETSU <3!

2009-12-10T02:38:00.003+08:00

Tmr will be E-Guides Training camp.

Damn worried so decided to stay overnite td.

Jia yo ba!

2009-12-07T22:44:00.002+08:00

Resigned from Singapore pools ytd.

Finish work at 6pm.

Roam around Plaza sing to look for christmas present ideas.

The list to buy is damn long.

Went back to Tampines to continue to wait for Alvina, szejun.

No joke, its damn lonely to shop alone.

Went for Dim Sum with Alvina and Szejun for some catching up =)

2009-12-07T21:53:00.004+08:00

Everyone has those people you know? The ones who are there for them through it all. Through every single up and down of your life. They are always right there, riding the coaster with you, squeezing your hand tight on all the biggest, scariest hills telling you, “You’ll be okay, you’ll make it through, you can do this.” You know that they will never hop off the coaster at a stopping point to find an easier ride; they will stick with you because they want to. You trust these people immensely and they trust you too. These people, they complete you, they bring the biggest smile to your face and make your life worth living. You know that they will always be there for you, no matter what, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and all three hundred sixty-five days of the year. You spend each day trying to think of some way, any way, to repay them, to help them understand what they have done for you, but always come up short. You simply tell them thank you, hoping that will be enough, but apologizing when you realize it isn’t. They, though, find it enough for you to be happy and knowing that your coaster has slowed down for now. And as your coaster slowly picks up the pace once again, you know these people are still there, ready to support you and squeeze your hand when you, once more, find yourself riding it out on those hills. And even if, over time, you find yourself apart from these people, you are never truly apart, maybe by the standard definition, but truly you aren’t. Near or far, far or near, these are the people that will always love you and they’ll never leave you.

Cool =) like this~

=(

2009-12-05T01:10:00.003+08:00

I totally fell to the pit this afternoon.

After a long chat with E.

Force me to c some truths that i kept hiding myself from seeing.

I felt damn lousy..

I'm really nth .. as compare to sharon alvina andy eekian.

This feelings continue even when i reach 13-2

I was alone with xiao mei.

She's busy with her term tests.

Suddenly, i felt very helpless.

I didnt know who i am consult.

Topics too sensitive.

I didnt know who i can confide in.

Cindy was busy with her training and the rest cant be found.

I sat at the computer table.

Suppose to do my ccom.

Yet, my heart alr flew far far away.

My tears nearly dropped.

Lingers~

2009-12-04T01:59:00.007+08:00

Was chatting with J.

Things were getting way too sensitive.

It linked too much to how i actually felt about things that are going on specially towards program side.

Everyone needs some time alone, lock yourself somewhere n sort your thoughts without distractions.

2009-12-02T01:04:00.000+08:00

ELAINE IS LONGING FOR A HOLIDAY!

ANYONE JOINING????

Had a wonderful dinner with a damn cute lot of people =)

Delighted~

2009-11-29T00:52:00.002+08:00

MOOD - HAPPY!

It pretty refreshing to have 2 days free =)

Things are piling as a result. Hahaas!
- ESC minutes
- Techno Project
- D Cup Seal Points
and alot alot. i cant remember.

Going to Yishun tmr~

Back to childhood

2009-11-26T02:10:00.003+08:00

Backtrack to last sat when i went back to Pengerang.

Its the land that filled with my childhood memories.

Used to go there very often when dad's still ard.

Now, its only special occasion which in this case is my aunt's 80th birthday.

They set up 60 tables, stage and even FIREWORKS~

Though was infested with insects,

It didnt affect my feelings at all.

Was damn glad i went back, the people who used to be ard me, GREW UP.

They changed and some i cant recognise anymore.

Neverless, a fruitful trip =)

its getting more More MORE~

2009-11-26T02:09:00.002+08:00

Finally done with MP judging.

No questions were asked.

Worst. Didnt even know how we fare.

OMG.

2009-11-24T01:22:00.001+08:00

Sometimes things really don go the way we want.

Sometimes things really go damn wrong.

But sometimes there is no chance for me to salvage the situation.

Wat shld i do?

MP judging on wed - Scared

2009-11-19T00:57:00.003+08:00

My heart and brain work super ultra hard tgt td.

Especially after Directors' Cup.

2009-11-17T00:26:00.000+08:00

2009-11-15T20:49:00.004+08:00

i hate the way i'm missing u.

so cowardly.

i hate the times i even wish that u can just come n talk to me.

i miss those days.

fuck

T-I-R-E-D

2009-11-15T00:06:00.002+08:00

Tired is the word of the wk.

Is it all worth it? Alot of pp have been askin me this question. Time with frens/family/tv/coms even sleep were all gone.

Sometimes, it really become very demoralising with ur fren saying how limited time is, your pp and they just refuse to help u as well as those almost everyday's mum's nagging. However the great sense of achievement after an event & the kind of bond tat we shared, makes it impossible not to continue.

I just wan to do my part for ESC, do my part to make every single event a success one, make justice to the votes tat we all once had.

Jiayo ba, AY09/10! Lets work hard tgt!

Sink in

2009-11-12T09:29:00.004+08:00

Ytd's program meeting was damn good. My brain is working super well ytd =)

I really think the busy-ness make me super stupid.

Many thoughts trigger.

Later is my presentation and great, i'm still here rushing my powerpoint slides. Lucky wenhui did alot.

I super damn scared la. Lecturers confirm shoot alot of questions one. OMG!!

Its worst when no one is panicking and helping.

2009-11-11T00:39:00.002+08:00

Location: ESC room

Song Played: Graduation

Action: Jesslyn staring at ESC AGM photo and say sadly "94 days le leh!"

WALAO SUPER EMO LA!!

2009-11-09T04:06:00.002+08:00

" You are a very complex person. I don understand u much."

Thanks ah, HB.

I seriously don think so, most likely we are just not in the same freq.

2009-11-09T03:22:00.000+08:00

1-3-5-7

2009-11-08T11:58:00.003+08:00

I really felt lonely ytd after D' cup. It's the first time that i was in the clubroom and left the school alone. Its been really long since i left school totally alone.

My mind went wild.

Many events, people, foreseens filled me.

The thought of leaving school suddenly came to my mind. It came into a image of me packing up my things after April orientation is done.

I felt so much better when i saw Sher hua who came down just to accompany me for dinner=)

It finally settle to the point that its e pp that kept me going, with my haphazard life, with the overwhelming workload.

ITS A SLEEPY SLEEPY~ DAY!

2009-11-05T11:44:00.005+08:00

Its pouring outside . . I'm suppose to be going to sch~

BUT I"M TOO LAZY & TIRED, ITS REALLY TEMPTING LA> TO SLEEP AT HOME FOR THE WHOLE DAY!

Was totally rushing lk mad ytd.

After class. Went down to ESC to prepare log items for EO, bring over to sports hall, went to watch their games. Initially it was raining, luckily, it stop pretty soon enough=)

Went for lunch with JEL & IRVIN then rush back to tend D cup booth. Meanwhile had a short program meeting with YQ & JAN.

Went for OTC interview with CINDY JEL LARLENE YESSY JAZZLYN JESSLYN. I was pair with CINDY n u know wat? We were asked to shout a cheer inside lounge. But ok la, most of the pp there were from ENG n we didnt even do a long cheer la.

Rushed back to Program meeting with Joan & XL. Ended up the pp who were there all along were my OVERLY BONDED programmers from oct. HAHAS. Damn cute. We even save the time for introduction la. Till Salimah, Gina & Maggi came=)
There's something lacking from the ideas & i cant figure it out.

Was damn touched to realise that LARLENE, SHERHUA, JEL, JESSLYN, RAYMOND, MATTHEW, SHERMAGNE were still waiting for me for dinner=))

Dinner @ BBQ chicken. Nice company, Nice food to end the day! =)

100 days countdown

2009-11-04T01:15:00.003+08:00

ITS 100 DAYS TO BID GOODBYE TO SCHOOL TERM! OMG!

Something in me was lookin forward to TMR despite the super tight schedule i ve!=)

A different preception of life

2009-11-03T02:28:00.003+08:00

Was chatting with Zhixin and Cindy abt wat to do after grad. Seems like they had plans alr, i'm still sitting on the fence.

Went to watch "The Sister's Keeper" with Grace, Larlene, Sherhua, Jesslyn, Zhiyong, Jel, Ahseng & YQ.

It was a touching show. It linked me back to the times when Mum had to undergo Chemo. Life was really bad. Mixed feeling went through my heart. BUT I DIDNT CRY. HAHHAS!

Grace, Larlene, Sherhua, Jesslyn & Zhiyong teared throughout the movie la. I wasnt not feeling anything, i just kept it to myself i think.

A 2nd round celebration for Jesslyn, slack at Mac for a while before going home.

You were right. I wasnt as happy as before. There were countless of things happening everyday, it will totally drive u crazy.

I was so pek chek with the way thigns are done td. I just don understand, why i was the only one responsible of the things. I don understand y i was throw alone to face n do things. N Yes i'm super angry.

Share with Yessy and Andy, totally felt better.

Total Stress Out

2009-10-28T01:23:00.002+08:00

This is the first time i felt i'm suffering in silence.

This is the first time i duno y i'm being blame for.

This is the first time i felt so hated.

This is the first time i really really hate stupid gossips.

Everything is getting out of control
My health is getting out of hand. With a great lack of slp, overwork n duno wat is on my neck.

FML

I greatly need someone for help. Even just as a listening ear.

1-2-3-4-5 days of craziness

2009-10-05T01:15:00.002+08:00

Back from sub com workshop

Back from first time being GL

Back from DCMTC

Back from first time being Program head

Back from 5 days of busy-ness

Back from the success of 1 maze, 3 games, 12 beloved programmers

I've really learn alot from the subcoms, heads, participants, everyone.

=)

Limits

2009-09-22T22:44:00.003+08:00

Thanks for being the main reason of me not wanting to go home everyday.

Every time i'm home, we don even ve time to talk much before u leave for ur telephone marathon

You are always not home when i am.

I'm always being blamed for not being home n all. (aunts and all)

Sister and bro like to say" i very long nv c u liao leh. can you be home more often? " However i;m working on both wk ends and you all only can come back on wkends, its not like u dunno. Its not like i wish to. But i need money. Then it will link to " then stop going out so often. " Great then wat? Rot at home. ?

Haiz, more understanding pls.

I'm having too much

2009-09-21T22:29:00.002+08:00

Too much things to complete

Too much unlucky-ness

Too much things happening around

Too much things to ponder abt

Too much for me to bear

I cant just breakdown. I got to think about the rest.

Incredible

2009-09-19T01:43:00.005+08:00

-0930-
Met up with hoon and cindy to prepare for things for program meeting.

-1020-
Oct orientation 3th Heads' meeting. Was in for a great fright, i dont deny that my feelings felt like rollercoaster in this mtg yet i had to stay in the same expression.

-1300-
Lunch at Mensa.

-1405-
The forever long program meeting starts. The games were more or less prepared. Much more efforts to be given to nite walk. Its really a crazy crazy idea.

I'm worried about the subcoms, about the success of games and especially NITE WALK. I can c and feel that they are very stress and realise tat there's much more for me to improve as a head. I'm sorry.

-1735-
Trial game starts. Problems identitied and solved.

-2000-
Meeting over. Stoning.

-2120-
Dinner at 18 chef. YUMMY=)

Countdown to MTC refresher - 10 days

Istartedtothinkalot.Thinkofallthepossiblitiesandall. Butitssoobviouswearenevermeanttobe.

2009-09-09T00:50:00.002+08:00

Went to watch TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE! Its damn nice!

I felt for the show =)

How will it feel, to have someone who will disappear every now n then.?

How will it feel, to be the one waiting aimlessly.?

How will it feel, to know u are going to die soon.?

Its not the typically kind of movie i will watch however glad that i went!

Its been long since i was so satisfied with a movie =)

2009-09-01T00:34:00.000+08:00

Td is such a bad day

Feel total terrible

Nice Getaway~

2009-08-24T01:00:00.003+08:00

I was off with Jel, Samuel, Syamil for a short getaway this morning.

Wake up at 630am, took 168 to woodlands, i didnt slp! Dunno y~

E whole trip was fun.

Till i reached singapore at around 1030, calls and msgs start to come.

With remainders of the piling work undone.

It really tells me, I'm back to singapore, my world of reality.

Boo ~

2009-08-20T00:14:00.000+08:00

WOO HOO!! I:M GOING TO REMIND HIM NOW!

2009-08-19T12:17:00.003+08:00

Some pp are really lk books,

The more u read,

The more curious u get,

The more u wan to know.

But the more u know,

The more u realise u didnt know them at all.

2009-08-16T02:28:00.002+08:00

I suddenly realise, PR is really impt. Specially when u r working.

I wont say i dunno how to PR. I somehow feel its pretty fake.

Somehow i feel frens shld b made because u enjoy being with them.

But after working at s'pools, u get to know more people with totally different backgrounds, old pp, bitchy girls, business man etc etc.

There's only option 1 or 2.

Option 1: Refused to talk to them. Read a book, be a loner and bored to death.

Option 2: Open up, talk abt anythin that might link u all up.

2009-08-09T12:06:00.000+08:00

Its v upset and dismoralising when you thought that u will be supported to do things.
But in e end, was pile with work that were undone.

IM - pressed.

2009-08-06T10:38:00.005+08:00

Saw some blog post.. Pretty impressed.

I mean come on, it impressive enough to let me blog in such a early morning. ^^

Inspired!

I'm mentally recharged and going back to jobs that are piling!!=)

Hope td is a great day, i'm looking forward actually=)

ELAine

ESC room

^-^

2009-08-02T22:22:00.005+08:00

I chanced by Jiaying's blog n heard my long-lost blogsong..

Whenever i hear tat song, the same feeling comes back.

I really thought i forget tat feeling.

Until it all came back.

If only, there's again.

random

2009-07-31T00:50:00.001+08:00

SHIT! Not much progress with mp report td=(

Sick-ni-ness

2009-07-30T00:05:00.001+08:00

Everyone is falling sick.

Moral is damn low~

Take care EVERYONE!

Its nice to b called as family members=)

Random

2009-07-26T12:32:00.002+08:00

Everyone seems to take off,

I'm still there,

Staring blankly.

Where should i go after Poly?

I'm not joking

I DON'T KNOW!

=(

2009-07-20T23:33:00.002+08:00

I'm pretty unhappy.

I felt somethin missing from life.

I dunno wat's tat.

I hate this feeling.

Oh man.

I'm lk a kid waiting for some rare sweets.

Wat a idiot.

ESC OUTING!

2009-07-19T23:54:00.007+08:00

Erm well, yes again i'm going to say " I WILL BLOG ASAP ".! Don laugh, i really will!

HEE HEE

I:M BACK WIHT PICTURES!

I overslept tat day, i was suppose to meet waiang 12pm at pasir ris, ended up i only woke up at 1130. I really is do things at top speed man, managed to reach pasir ris at 1220 & found him sitting and readin his book~ haas~

Went over to ehub to do my nebo card while he went to redo his~ Ate lunch and not long later, we got our cards, bought all e tickets then headed to PS. Waiang return his items n we started shopping, walkin ard.

PS > Orchard (whole)

We at least walk the whole orchard for 2 times hahas, i went to alot of new places~ Went over to e ktv beside forum then realise its much cheaper before 6pm so we took a bus n went over to somerset to find if there is any cheaper ones. During the bus trip, there were damn lots of weird pp la including this guy who keep singin to himself, one guy tat was shouting in e bus and this gal tat keep whining to her bf etc etc.

Happily reaching tat place and only to realise, its e same one tat we saw at e beside forum one. -_-" HAHAs

Met up with zhiyong and walk pass this outdoor performance thingy. Yongqiang happen to call at this time n i said we were clubbing. N HE ACTUALLY BELIEVE! Mind u, its only 6pm ~

Slowly joined by Jesslyn, Yongqiang, Larlene, Grace and YAY! KTV session starts! DAMN FUN~ This grp of pp seriously, has a damn weird bonding hahas~ IT just so happen we are in e same club, before tat no one talk much to e other. BUT WE ARE NOW DAMN BONDED! HAHAS

Then went to eat at Hk cafe, sadly Grace cant join us for movie. However, irvin came to take over. Laughters continue throughout e nite~ Harry potter wasnt tat nice. seriously.

N i've been seeing this guy for 14 hrs tat day! li hai hor~

RANDOMIZE

2009-07-16T01:16:00.003+08:00

I am just very tired~

I am damn stress when e minutes amt starts to pile =(

I need a long break~

Its really them tat let me held so long~